It has been almost 4 months since I've posted here; and I'm currently doing no better in my battle of the bulge. I haven't weighed myself in weeks because last time I did, I wanted to cry...

But tomorrow is August 1st - the start of a new month. AND it's a MONDAY. What a perfect way to start fresh and try again. So tonight I'll eat whatever I want; and tomorrow I'll try to get motivate to STOP THE FLUFFINESS!!!

Are you with me????

I SUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!

I forced myself onto the scale this morning and was absolutely HORRIFIED by the number I saw. I can't even write it, it's so awful.

I'm hoping this is a motivator and not a "might as well eat cookies" moment... Because I'm so not happy with myself right now.

Maybe I should do TWO workout DVDs today. I'd ride outside but the wind is howling...

HELP!!!???? Is there someone out there with advice on how to deal with traveling and eating in restaurants every day??? I'm heading out of town again Wednesday for NINE NIGHTS. What to do??????????????????

I haven't been on the scale in a long, long time. Afraid to see the number. I've been a miserable failure with my weight loss, in spite of the fact that I feel very successful in my strength and endurance conditioning between the Insanity and Hip Hop Abs DVDs and occasionally getting on my bike.

I guess the temptation for sweets and other yummy unhealthy "food" is what's keeping me fluffy and unsuccessful with my weight loss goals. That and eating out 90% of the time. Restaurants suck. Except Mimi's Cafe. They have small portion selections on their menu; and the food is pretty good. And it's enough. My problem in other restaurants is knowing when is enough. STOP. PUSH THE PLATE AWAY. LET THE WAITRESS TAKE THE PLATE even if there's a french fry still on it.

I could, but I don't, eat only part of what is served to me at a restaurant. Take home a "doggy" bag. Well, I don't have a "doggy," and lately we leave the restaurant and go to a hotel instead of home. So there's no place for leftovers. And dang it! I paid for all that food! Might as well eat it now. So I do. So I'm fat. There. I said it. I'm fat.

But I have great muscles now under all this fat.

Maybe I need to spend a couple of weeks at the Biggest Loser spa. If only I had a couple of weeks where I didn't have to be somewhere else...

OK, I confess... I'm officially addicted to workout DVDs.

Since there aren't enough hours in a day for me to actually go outside to exercise, my consolation prize is to pop in a disk and work out at home, or in a hotel room, with Shaun T shouting encouragement through my computer screen.

Yes, I'm still doing Insanity. And I've actually improved a lot. I can make it through nearly all of the workouts without having to rest, and without feeling like I'm going to pass out. I have just one more rotation of the first series of workouts before moving on to set two. I'm excited about that, because the truth is, it gets a little boring doing the same routine over and over again.

To avoid monotony I picked up a copy of "Hip Hop Abs." Love it. But man! I definitely Do NOT have the moves. Sometimes I watch with my mough agape and think "HUH???" My hips, butt and shoulders don't coordinate to move like that, especially that fast. But I'm working on my form. And because it's new, it's fun. Not nearly as challenging as Insanity, so it's sort of like a day off with a just enough exercise to avoid feeling guilty.

As for my fluff, well, it's about the same. Weeks ago I broke my promise to myself about getting on the scale. Mostly because I wasn't getting anywhere, and I can tell that by how my jeans fit and (duh) looking at myself in the mirror. So what's the point of looking at the number in between my feet and feeling depressed about that???

I'm going to try to get back on board with the diet and weight loss thing next week. First of April. Always good to start at the beginning of a week, a month, a year. Ah, the circle of life...

Yeah, yeah, yeah....

I know I owe a post here...
But things have been absolutely INSANELY BUSY. I'm exhausted, worn out, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and there just aren't enough hours in the day right now to complain too much about my FATNESS.

But I promise to take a deep breath, do a couple of sit-ups, and get back to you shortly...

We're finally home after 11 days on the road. Dang! That felt like 11 months! What a crazy trip! I'm absolutely exhausted! But at least I didn't gain weight. I didn't lose any either... But considering how hard it is to eat well while you're traveling - especially in San Antonio, Texas, where in spite of our efforts we didn't find a single decent eating establishment - staying the same is fine.

Thank heavens for the Insanity Workout. Yes! I really did take the DVDs with me. And no, they didn't sit idle in my computer bag on the couch the entire time... I actually did four workouts at super high intensity, grunting and sweating and pushing myself to the point of nausea. It's hard to motivate sometimes. But MAN oh MAN, I'm seeing progress. My abs, glutes, quads, calves, shoulders, biceps and triceps are getting strong and defined. Of course, it's hard to see that under all this fluff... But once the fat goes, you'll see. Muscles of steal. I'm not joking!

I guess they mean it when they say you have to do the workouts AND eat a healthy, lower calorie diet if you want to see the best results. DARN! For me, it's easier to work myself to exhaustion than it is to step away from the cupcakes.

Speaking of cupcakes, Saturday Lynn, the originator of the idea to replace "fat" for "fluff," brought me red velvet cupcakes and orange cranberry scones. SABOTEUR!!! Lynn makes the BEST baked goodies. Those cupcakes ROCKED! Tell me you wouldn't drool over a red velvet cupcake with mini chocolate chips baked in! Heaven on Earth! I ate two and gave the others to Brian. But I didn't share either of the two scones, which are better than the best scones you ever had. Softer and yummier. Perfection! I ate all the treats that night! That way I only had to feel guilty once, and promise myself to get back on track the next day.

But the truth is, I didn't feel guilty. Not for one second.

I'm finally feeling like I'm getting back in shape. I went for a nice ride today, and noticed increased quad strength gained, no doubt, from the Insanity workouts. Feeling fit makes me feel like eating well, controlling my portions, and staying on track. So I'm very motivated at the moment.

I say "at the moment" because we're heading out on the road again tomorrow. I'm chip timing a 5k race in So Cal on Sunday morning, then joining Brian in San Antonio Sunday night for the Running USA Conference where we hope to bag some BIG clients... We return to So Cal Wednesday, pack and shop for our first Planet Ultra double of the season on Thursday, then host the event, also in So Cal, on Saturday. We'll likely drive home a week from Sunday.

During those ten days of traveling, meals are going to be a challenge. Eating in restaurants means I have to do one of three things:
1. Convince Brian to share (rarely happens)
2. Leave lots of food on the plate (makes me wonder about starving children in ...???)
3. Eat too much and sabotage the success of the last few weeks.

I'm hoping for #1 - but it's only a glimmer of hope.

The next issue is exercise. I'm bringing my laptop and my Insanity DVDs and plan to work out in the hotel room every morning. PLAN is the key word. It's going to take a huge amount of will power; and I'm starting NOW to summon that up...

When we're in So Cal I'll have a bike with me; and will hopefully squeeze in a ride this Friday, and maybe a week from Thursday, Friday and maybe Sunday. We'll see. I'll let you know how that goes...

In the meantime, I now have to pack (again). I'm making a super healthy and delicious home cooked meal tonight. It's going to be the last one for awhile - so I'll savor ever bite...