I SUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!

I forced myself onto the scale this morning and was absolutely HORRIFIED by the number I saw. I can't even write it, it's so awful.

I'm hoping this is a motivator and not a "might as well eat cookies" moment... Because I'm so not happy with myself right now.

Maybe I should do TWO workout DVDs today. I'd ride outside but the wind is howling...

HELP!!!???? Is there someone out there with advice on how to deal with traveling and eating in restaurants every day??? I'm heading out of town again Wednesday for NINE NIGHTS. What to do??????????????????

I haven't been on the scale in a long, long time. Afraid to see the number. I've been a miserable failure with my weight loss, in spite of the fact that I feel very successful in my strength and endurance conditioning between the Insanity and Hip Hop Abs DVDs and occasionally getting on my bike.

I guess the temptation for sweets and other yummy unhealthy "food" is what's keeping me fluffy and unsuccessful with my weight loss goals. That and eating out 90% of the time. Restaurants suck. Except Mimi's Cafe. They have small portion selections on their menu; and the food is pretty good. And it's enough. My problem in other restaurants is knowing when is enough. STOP. PUSH THE PLATE AWAY. LET THE WAITRESS TAKE THE PLATE even if there's a french fry still on it.

I could, but I don't, eat only part of what is served to me at a restaurant. Take home a "doggy" bag. Well, I don't have a "doggy," and lately we leave the restaurant and go to a hotel instead of home. So there's no place for leftovers. And dang it! I paid for all that food! Might as well eat it now. So I do. So I'm fat. There. I said it. I'm fat.

But I have great muscles now under all this fat.

Maybe I need to spend a couple of weeks at the Biggest Loser spa. If only I had a couple of weeks where I didn't have to be somewhere else...