I hate throwing away food. It happens though; because I tend to overestimate the amount of fruits and vegetables we can eat before they go bad. So rotting salad fixings and moldy fruit end up in the trash before they make it to the dinner table. A big waste of money. But not bananas.

Bananas are a wonderful thing. Personally, I like my bananas yellow, with spots. Brian likes his the same way, which is perfect because we usually share a sliced banana in our morning cereal. A banana tastes good with a few spots, and a lot of spots. But the beautiful thing is, that once a banana is brown you don't have to throw it away. I used to. But now... I BAKE!

An overripe banana can be transformed into many delicious things! And I can justify eating something baked with banana because it replaces most, if not all, of the butter. So less fat, right??? I ignore the part where I added a full cup of sugar and chocolate chips to the recipe... But heck, when you eat something baked with banana, you can tell yourself "it's fruit."

This morning I made a peanut butter and banana bread. Man! Was it good! I made four mini-loaves instead of one big one; and I gave two of them to my friend Bryce. I froze one because I'm greedy that way... and I ate half of one just because it was there. By they way, it was really yummy.

So far, my favorite banana recipe this year is Banana-Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies. Sounds kind of funky, but really, these were a super big hit with everyone I shared them with (which was a lot of people actually). Here's the recipe. You'll be hooked:

1/2 cup mashed ripe banana (about 1 medium)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup butter, softened (see? that's really a SMALL amount of butter!)
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 large egg
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups old-fashioned oats
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I use dark chocolate chips, my chip of choice)
cooking spray (important - these can stick)

Preheat oven to 350.
Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl; beat at medium speed until smooth. Add egg, beat well.
Combine flour, oats, baking soda and salt in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk (I didn't bother with the whisk - a spoon seemed to work fine). Add flour mixture to banana mixture and beat at medium speed until blended. Stir in chips.
Drop batter by heaping tablespoonfulls (who measures???) 2 inches apart onto baking sheets coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350 for 18 minutes until golden (mine took a few minutes longer). Remove cookies from pans and cool completely on wire rack.

Enjoy! These are soooooo yummy! And share with friends so you don't eat them all! (I admit. Again, I'm greedy, so I always freeze some for later.)

Note to self: Baking banana goodies does NOT fight the fluff. But, it's the last day of the year, so I really don't have to get serious about that until tomorrow...

127.

That's what the scale told me Monday morning. Not bad, I thought, especially after my near overdose on Lit'l Smokies Christmas Eve. Seriously, if I had one, I had 11. I quite literally lost count as I indulged on each wonderful, delicious, impossible-to-resist little sausages wrapped in pastry dough. Yu-uh-UM!

What is it that makes us, on occasion, eat like we're never again, for the rest of our lives, going to have another opportunity to eat this thing, this dish, this meal?

Take Thanksgiving, for example. Far and away the best food holiday of the year. There's absolutely no reason why we can't enjoy turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie, separately or combined into a grand feast, on days other than the last Thursday of November. Technically speaking, yes, I could prepare this meal any Tuesday in April. So WHY, on Thanksgiving, do I always eat myself to the point of pain? Like it's my very last Thanksgiving ever, so I better enjoy it now. I'm not talking just button-popping fullness... I eat myself right into the realm of laying-around-groaning stuffed-ness!

So there I was, Christmas Eve, gobbling down Lit'l Smokies like the end of the world is coming.

I choose to blame Brian for this. He refuses to eat hot dogs, or anything that looks like a hot dog or little wienie; so out of respect, hot dogs don't enter our home. This means I've been hot dog deprived for 6 years and I was simply making up for lost time.

That doesn't explain however, my standing around noshing on everything else that was laying out on the counter. Veggies and dip. No problem. Safe food. Never feel guilty about carrots and broccoli. Chips and salsa? I can take it or leave it. But it was there... UH OH... Ooooey, gooey, soft and warm, nacho cheese dip in the crockpot??? I LOVE melted cheese! Melted cheese on Lit'l Smokies!!! Ultimately, after one too many dips, I had to say to myself, and I'm almost certain I said it out load: "Step Away From The Cheese."

Bottom line: Parties are a challenge when you're trying to fight the fluff.

Saving Grace: WII Fit Games. While I pretty much sucked at most of them, I had a BIG WIN on the ski jump! 146 feet! And while I didn't catch the flying ones, I did keep the hula hoop spinning for the entire 2 minutes! (And burned about 4 calories while doing so!) Wii is a fun party game!

Note to self: It's not possible to participate in a gingerbread house making party without eating candy. LOTS of candy. And so many colorful, flavorful, delicious varieties of candy! YUM! Thank heavens Christmas comes only once a year. But why oh why does the feasting last for over two weeks??? Lack of self control. That's why.

I simply can't resist.

I had all the best intentions of being good. I ate a healthy breakfast, went for a 31 mile ride, lifted weights and did sit ups, and then ate a home-cooked delicious meal. When we left for the "party" I started chewing gum, thinking that if I kept my mouth occupied I could keep the candy out.

NOT!

Once the teeniest bit of frosting got on my fingers, before I could even think about it and stop myself, I licked it off... and it was all over. What the heck! I tasted frosting! Might as well eat candy! Out goes the gum. In goes the tootsie rolls, skittles, licorice, nerds, kisses and anything else within reach. Way more got in my mouth than on my gingerbread tree.

I should've just melted all the candy and smeared it on my butt... 'cuz that's where it's going to wind up anyway...

In the middle of December, my friend Kyle started a blog called "My Christmas Present to Myself." His gift was a promise: "For 365 days, I'm going to be nice to everyone I come in contact with. That's right, no arguing with the wife, no yelling at the kids, nada--for 365 days."

I look forward to reading Kyle's blog every day! Sometimes I laugh out loud. Anyway, reading Kyle's blog inspired me to write a blog of my own. And here it is.

It's called "Fighting the Fluff." Fluff is a term I'm borrowing from my friend Lynn. It's meant to describe the extra softness I've accumulated between Halloween and Christmas... The result of succumbing to the temptation of the incredible deliciousness of holiday sweets: Candy, cookies, brownies, cakes and, oh yes! chocolate chips in EVERYTHING! With these scrumptious delights in my house, you might as well point a gun to my head and shout "EAT IT!"

That, and my complete and utter failure in the department of "portion control" has fluffed me up a horribly embarrassing 6 pounds since the end of October. Honestly, though, I was already up from my ideal weight - which I'll call my "wedding weight," which was 10 pounds ago.

Truth be told, my wedding weight was 7 pounds heavier than I was at my smallest in early 2004. But since I got to that ultra petite weight by unintentionally starving myself during a very nasty and incredibly stressful split with my then business partner; maybe I won't count that. Everyone said I looked "too skinny" anyway. Right.

You're probably thinking, "10 pounds is really not that much." But on my 5-foot tall frame, there isn't much room to spread 10 pounds around... so 10 might as well be 20. That's what it looks like; and certainly feels like. UGH. I'm absolutely disgusted with myself.

So it's time to do something about it.

But it's sooooo hard! Because food, especially the makes-you-fat kind, is so delicious! And it's still Christmas! The treats are still here! For heaven's sake - on top of all the things that I personally baked which call to me from the freezer, Brian's mom sent a "care package" for New Years which included 2 jumbo sized sweet cakes (banana and lemon poppy), about 3 pounds of fudge and what looks to be about a years' supply of peanut/pretzel bark. Care package? More like "I-don't-Care-how-FAT-you-get" package! Oh, I keep trying to tell myself "it's the thought that counts" instead of allowing my evil feelings to seep in: "SABOTAGE! So many friends and family, including my dear husband who brings me See's Candies, are in the business of SABOTAGE!" NO! Don't think that!!!

Bottom line: I need to lose some weight. I'll feel better about myself. And maybe in the not-so-distant-future I'll be able to wear my skinny pants again (yes, I kept them. Don't ALL women have a pair of pants in their closet that haven't fit for years? We keep them as a goal. A dream. A torment.)

The reason for this blog is to be accountable to myself. I do that by "speaking" my food feelings. And in sharing them honestly with you, I'm forced to be honest with myself. Also, they say (whoever "they" are) that successful dieting includes writing down what you eat, keeping a journal. So here's my journal. Not just what I eat. But my feelings about food, exercise, life.

I'm not going to promise to write something every day. Just like I'm not going to promise to eat well and exercise every day. Unrealistic. I'm actually planning to accept and understand that now and again I'm going to splurge. And after the splurge, I'm not going to beat myself up about it too much.

I actually started yesterday, Christmas Day - and only ate one little bite of sweets. My lovely friend Brook made "Fruity Pebbles Treats" which I'd never had before. So I cut the cute little fruity snowman into bite-sized pieces, and ate just two bites. Yummmmmmmmmmmmm... The temptation to scarf down the entire thing was definitely there... But I fought it. And won!